Overwhelmed Mom and The Mom Funk

Lately I’ve been noticing that I’ve been in a funk…a Mom Funk.

I’ve been a bit blah…kind of lazy…and not very productive.

I spend too much time looking at screens instead of at my kids

I refresh my email more than my soul

I eat junk instead of the fruits and veggies in my fridge

I spend more time on the couch instead of on my feet

I get bored, lazy and overall unproductive.

At first it feels like I’m “just relaxing”, taking all that Mom Time that I preach about.  But it doesn’t take much for that Mom Time to become a Mom Funk.  It’s a slippery slope for me.

Other times I’m completely overwhelmed with life, so I retreat to my computer and block it all out.

Usually when I end up in a Mom Funk, my mood changes.  I become short tempered, impatient, and, at times, I completely ignore my kids and husband.  Wow…doesn’t feel good to admit that!

Hey, Mom Funks happen.  It’s just kind of part of it, I guess.

Sure they happen, but it’s up to me to pull myself out of it.  And like usual, I have an action plan.

  • Get Outside:  This has been really hard to do with the crazy winter we’ve been having.  Even with all the snow, I’ll pull on my boots and trek out in it for a bit with my oldest.  Having lungs full of fresh air really helps me get energized.
  • Clean One Thing:  Once I get going, I’m good.  The hard part for me, is just getting started.  One chore, that’s all it takes.  Once that one chore is done, the clean space makes me want to clean more.  Then, when my house is clean and organized, I feel better and productive!  Even if I don’t clean a bunch, that little bit of clean can be quite refreshing!
  • Make A List:  One thing about being in a Funk, is that I have no idea what else I should be doing.  It’s not that I don’t have things to do, I do!  I just can’t seem to think of them whenever I do have time to do them, so I check my email (for the 100th time that day) then I’m stuck in the internet again.  Having a list really helps me get organized and stay focused.
  • Move My Body:  When I’m really in a funk, exercise always reenergizes my soul and gives me so much energy.  No, you don’t have to get a real workout in…dance in the kitchen, play tag, or wrestle with your kids, go for a walk, or shovel snow.  Just get moving!
  • Step Away from the Screens: Most of the time, my funk starts on my computer, and I get totally sucked in.  So, I close my computer and find something else to do.  I really love reading, and right now I have a great audio book I listen to while doing chores or a the gym.  It really helps me relax.
    I’ve found that Mom Funks are really easy to get in, and sometimes it’s hard to recognize when I’m in one.  But, once I’m there, it’s nice to have a plan to help me pull myself out!
        Do you ever get in a Mom Funk?  What do you do to pull yourself out of it?

Mom-Funk.jpg

If you’re looking for a real way to get out of your Mom Funk, connect with others, and start feeling joyful about motherhood again, look into the The Abundant Mama Project.  Click the picture to read what the project is all about.  It is a life changing course!

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Comments

  1. This is a great post Amanda. I think it is too easy to get sucked into the Mom funk and not be able to get out. When we are surrounded by little bits, when our main job is to create a peaceful household, and then we are supposed to write about it… it is easy to feel entitled to sit on the couch or not leave the house…

    You are so right, that once you get started it can usually spark activity. I find the same is true for me.
    Great Post!
    Dayna@ Lemon lime adventures recently posted…What Is Sensory Processing?My Profile

    • Thanks Dayna! It is easy to get stuck in the funk :). But, I’m always amazed at how quickly I can pull myself out, once I get going. It’s the “getting started” part that’s hard!

    • I am in a Mom Funk right now as I type this. My computer is sucking me in. LOL! This article and tips are all so perfect. I needed to read this tonight!! Thank you! I am also happy to see I am not the only one like this. I feel like such a bad mom sometimes when I just want to be alone and my sweet kiddos are begging me to read or play with them. I teach 1st grade and have three kids so I am never without kids! Ha! :-) Thanks again!

  2. Great post! As the dad of a ten month old, I can identify with a lot of what you’ve mentioned here. When I’m feeling tired, it’s easy to end up eating a bit too much, not doing enough exercise and spending time online. I’m going to try to make sure that I focus on getting a bit more sleep in the next few weeks as I think it’ll make a real diference.
    Jonathan recently posted…Time to talk about mental healthMy Profile

    • Oh yes…sleep is a big one too! I need to and that to my action plan. I spend way too many late nights blogging on the computer.

  3. Thank you so much for this post – I”m feeling the exact same way lately and it’s so great to hear that I’m not alone! So great to see some simple strategies that can jump start me out of this winter fog!! Thanks again for sharing! :)
    Claire recently posted…3 SIMPLE VALENTINE’S DAY VISUAL MOTOR ACTIVITIESMy Profile

  4. This is appropriately timed. Thank you for writing this – your action plan is great and useful and, like Claire wrote, it is actually kind of awesome to know that I’m not alone.
    Kim recently posted…Writing: Monday evening margaritasMy Profile

  5. Great post! I always find the last part most difficult – to step away from the screens and stay away :)
    Natalie AfterschoolForSmartyPants recently posted…Week in Review–February 8, 2014My Profile

    • The screens pull me in every time! I can’t just do something really quick without totally being sucked in. I’m working on that though!

  6. No kidding! Didn’t know what to call it. Get the da funk out! Woot!

  7. This is the same thing that happens to me! All day long I can’t wait to get home to the baby and then I sit on my phone/computer all night. I can’t wait until spring/summer to be able to get out of this boring slump!

    • The winter is so hard, especially this really long snowy one! I too am really looking forward to spring! Hopefully the nicer weather will get us out of “The Funk!”

  8. Hi, Amanda! I’m Courtney, and I blog over at The Brown Girl with Long Hair. I was led to this post via Facebook, and, immediately upon reading the title I was drawn in. This was an excellent post. Unfortunately, I’ve got nothing in the way of suggestions as to how to ditch the funk. It’s been horribly cold and snowy here…and I’m stuck at home with a 2yo and a 4-month-old, so at this point, I’m basically clinging to my sanity by my fingernails. I just try to count my blessings. And have a glass of champs after I put the kids to bed. :-/
    Courtney Conover recently posted…The unlikely placematMy Profile

    • hi Courtney – I have 3 children – 2 grown and now a 5 year old. I know where you are at. been there many of times. 3 things that helped me the most is eating healthy, enough sleep and exercising – these will help your mental attitude :) promise. also try and get some fresh air and sun everyday – that always helps.

    • It’s been horribly cold and snowy here too, so I totally get it. Baby E is a bit older than your baby, but I still can’t take him outside to play in the snow with my three year old, and we’ve been stuck inside a lot too. I totally feel your pain! Hang in there Mama, spring is coming!

  9. Amanda, thank you for your honesty. It really means a lot to me personally. It’s good to now that I am not only one like that :) screen is my worst enemy as well. The planning should be my best friend. Thanks again for a great post. We will de-Funk :)
    Birute Efe recently posted…Valentine Coupons for Kids From MomMy Profile

  10. This describes exactly what happens to me on a regular basis. In fact as I was reading this I realized the computer was sucking me in and I was starting to get into another Mom Funk. Time to go clean something! I’m sure I’ll be coming back to these tips again and again.
    Andrea @the Distracted Housewife.com recently posted…Getting Organized: The 14 Year JourneyMy Profile

  11. I have so been there. I love this post. Love it. I love the tips to snap out of it and I love the honesty in what it feels like. I get it. And I’m with you! Thank you for this!!!
    Katy Blevins recently posted…Less is More: Is My Child Too Busy?My Profile

  12. Thank you for being brave enough and compassionate enough to blog on this topic. I don’t have kids yet, but I definitely fall into a lot of “funks.” I look forward to trying your tips, but honestly, it’s just nice to see it out in the open and not feel alone.

  13. Getting out and getting a haircut can also give you a new perspective on things.

  14. Your timing is impeccable! I’ve been in a funk the last week or so and haven’t really been able to get out of it (lack of sleep, due to a 5-month-old, isn’t helping). Thanks to Pinterest, I found my way here and now have a plan to work my way out. Thank you!

  15. I have 4 kids: 6.5 yr old daughter I homeschool, 4.5 yr old son, 3 yr old daughter and 1 yr old toddler who destroys everything. We have had sickness after sickness this winter, most recently norovirus. When a big family gets a bad bug it lasts over a week because a new person is infected every few days. I live in Vermont where big snowstorms are the norm and 25 degree weather feels warm. I know that other people look at me like I’m a saint and acknowledge that my job is difficult, but I seem to forget that this job isn’t hard because I stink at it…It’s just HARD. I have these great productive days, but it seems like right after that my dream is completely gone and I want to hide in a cave with my laptop and disengage. Every sound the kids make when I feel this way feels like nails on a chalkboard. It’s not only unfair to them to have a mom who is in a funk, it causes me intense guilt and shame that I am wasting this opportunity to be at home with my kids when my friends would sever off their right hands to be able to do this. I have 4 healthy, beautiful, sweet & smart children that I get to teach. My oldest daughter wakes up ready to just take over the world & I can barely move until 2 pm. I drink too much coffee and have fallen off the wagon with my eating habits. I had adopted a paleo lifestyle and was experiencing incredible benefits until I got sick. The saltines & popcicles made me crave sugar & wheat again, and I got out of the habit of doing Insanity which made me feel great. I need to get back into it and hopefully get some consistency into my daily life instead of these peaks and valleys. Some greenery or eye candy like an art museum would be a good idea to add. I find myself staring at green landscapes and crazily contemplating going to a tanning bed just to feel some UV rays in my skin. Scary fantasy given my family history of melanoma! Might be good to get back into my Vit D regimen too!

    Thank you for giving words to something I haven’t shared with even my best friend. I was feeling so alone & condemned about it.

  16. I just wanted to say THANK YOU for this post!! I have been feeling off lately and didn’t know what it was or how to explain it, besides cabin fever/winter depression. It is such a relief to hear others are in the same funk! I am definitely going to take your advice and make a list! Thank again! I am excited to read your other posts!! :)

  17. Enjoyed this. I’ve been in a funk recently. I’ve been yelling again, having less patience, in a general state of annoyance. I realized the one thing that changed is I wasn’t checking my parenting pages (like this one) regularly or reading articles. I find when I glance through a few articles a day it keeps how I WANT to be in the forefront of my thoughts.

  18. Wow, I feel like you just wrote about me, word for word. You have a new follower on your blog. Thank you.

  19. Yep, yep, yep!!! I got the mum funk!! I need to get out of it quick smart!!

  20. Mallory says:

    TOTALLY THE ARTICLE I NEEDED AT 5am! so funky these days, needed the encouragement!

  21. Good to know other moms are like me. Makes me feel rotten when I get to that irritable point. But like you said cleaning usually gets me going and helps my mood too. Also got some healthier snacks to replace my hourly (lol jk) ice cream sandwich. I really am wondering if winter will ever turn into spring though. It’s snowing almost every day it seems still! My baby is also too little to be out much. But we watch out the windows and make sure to move around a lot indoors.

  22. Wow, great post! Felt like you you’re writing about me! So refreshing to know that other parents feel this way. We need to support each other and not always compare ourselves. Thanks for the great tips! I’m off to clean my bathroom before bed!

  23. Thank you for writing. I have been in a Mom Funk the last few days, mostly because we have been snowed in a lot and have all had colds this week. I sit down and never get up. I get sucked into my laptop as well and always end up seeing other lovely moms’ blogs and all the creative things they are doing with their kids, and it just makes me more “in a funk” over my laziness. Good to know all good moms feel that way some days. Now, I will get off the computer and go read to my kids! :) lol
    Laura recently posted…Why Being Home-schooled Makes Me Want To Home-school My ChildrenMy Profile

  24. lanalouwho says:

    I have been in a funk for a while now, and I finally pulled myself out 2 days ago. I have a preschooler and a newborn, and I was having trouble getting anything done. I sat down and scheduled out my days, with every tiny little recurring monotonous task that comes with mothering. I now have alarms on my phone that remind me to get up and do each thing, including exercise and down time that I don’t have to feel guilty about. Lists and exercise have made me feel better than I have in weeks.

  25. Love this post! So true! Back in October, my job was downsized. The next week the divorce that had been pending for a year was finalized-a good thing overall for me, but a huge change for my children. I went from working way too many hours in a salaried position 5-6 days a week and juggling 2 kids and a household, to working night shift 3 days a week (I’m an RN). Even though I’m still working full-time, I have a lot of free time on my days off and I’m def feeling the mom funk! I really have to focus and get myself off the couch and away from the screens to get things done-I have many projects I need to get done. I agree with other posts-its been hard with this winter weather-you just want to crawl up in your blankets and pull the covers over your head! :) Looking forward to more spring weather and that “spring cleaning” motivation!

    Thanks for helping me not feel alone in this!

  26. Thank you for writing this! I literally stumbled upon this at the right time. I am a stay at home mom of 3, three year old twins and a 19 month old, and I am currently in this mom funk. This winter is not helping either and we all have a touch of cabin fever! It’s so nice to know I am it alone and am going to start making some changes first thing in the morning to get out of this funk!!

  27. Loved this post. Like you said, sometimes you’re in a funk and don’t even realize you’re there. I think this is particularly true for stay-at-home parents. You get lost in the day to day and before you know it, you’re just going through the motions. I’ve also noticed that a lot of those ways we think we are “treating ourselves” when there’s not time for real relaxation – junk food, couch time, etc. – easily lead to funks and not taking care of ourselves in the important ways.

  28. Thank you! It’s refreshing to hear I’m not alone in the way I feel.
    kaz @ melting moments recently posted…Wordless Wednesday – One More Beach DayMy Profile

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