Can We Really Stop Yelling at Our Kids?

Is it possible to stop yelling at our kids?  Maybe.  Maybe not.

I know it sounds weird to hear me say that, since so much of my blog is taken up with the idea that we should stop yelling.

Hear me out.

Is it possible to never yell at our kids, or is it an unattainable goal?

Some people yell a lot.  Some people hardly yell.  But most, if not all, parents yell.  It’s really, really, really hard not to.

Parenthood is hard.

Shoot. LIFE is hard.

We have times when we just can’t keep it together.  Times when we have so many things going on it’s hard not to feel overwhelemed.

And that’s just life.

Throw in some kids on top of that, and it easy to lose our cool.

Kids push boundaries, scare us with their unpredictable behavior, and keep us on edge.

When we are at the end of our rope and already frustrated by life then our child pushes a boundary, it’s no surprise that we yell at them.

The whole premise of this Stop Yelling Challenge is to do better…not perfect.

It’s about recognizing when we are losing our cool and to calm down.

It’s about yelling not being our go-to parenting tool.

It’s about building a happier, more peaceful home.

It’s about having better relationships with our kids.

It’s NOT about succeeding our failing.

Perfection is an unattainable goal.

But, the goal to have a happier, more peaceful home, is do-able.

 

Is it possible to never yell at our kids, or is it an unattainable goal?

Photo Credit: Lon Fong Photography-trying to catch up! via Compfight cc

It’s time to stop feeling like a failure.  Wipe that word from your vocabulary.

Instead of “I failed”, say “I could have done that better” and make a plan for next time.

There is no space for Mom Guilt in this challenge.

To make this clear, I have decided to make a few changes around the blog.  I have taken down my counter of “how long it’s been since I yelled”, and I am no longer taking the challenge to not yell at my kids for a year.  I am taking it day by day.

My goals are the same, but I refuse to feel guilty or to allow others to feel guilty about this.

We are all trying to be better parents, and that matters most.

 

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Comments

  1. Kiasa says:

    Thank you Amanda! You are helping so many parents, including me!
    Kiasa recently posted…Capturing the EverydayMy Profile

  2. metalmama says:

    I thought about joining your stop yelling group but I knew I couldn’t promise that for a whole year. I have a toddler and 5 month old baby and my husband and I are tired. Its a busy streasful time so I take each day at a time and am getting back to our gentle parenting like it was before my baby was born. Im not perfect and apologise if I yell and remind myself to try better next time. I did wonder what you would do after the year was up; would you rejoice and end the challenge or start the clock again on anothwr year? I also wondered if the number of days yell free is what might drive some people more than the importance of not yelling. It would be so much more devastating to get to 8 months yell free only to ruin it with a really bad day. It would be harder to accept that than accepting it as a slip one day out of many. I think the guilt would be worse too. Here’s to taking it one day at a time. Xx

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