Why Are You Yelling?

I took the challenge to stop yelling at my kids 8 weeks ago.

I can’t believe that in that 8 weeks that I haven’t written about triggers.  Finding out what triggers our anger and causes us to yell is huge!  It’s like step two in the process of trying to stop yelling.  The first is making the commitment to stop.

Why Are You Yelling?

Often times we yell or get mad at our kids for reasons that have nothing to do with them.  We are stressed, disorganized, distracted, or tired, so we don’t have the patience we need with our kids.  We end up taking out our frustrations on them.

I recently asked the members of our Stop Yelling Group to tell me when they feel like they are most likely to yell.  Here are many of their answers.

Lack of Self-Care

  • We are hungry or tired…or both!
  • Feeling overwhelmed by life
  • Haven’t had any “me time”
  • Haven’t showered.
  • Feeling alone

Stress

  • In a rush or running late
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Fights with others
  • Unprepared for the day
  • Unorganized

Sensory Overload

  • Too many noises all at once
  • A messy house, stuff everywhere
  • Feeling hot

Being Distracted

  • Talking on the phone
  • Being on the computer
  • Trying to read
  • Talking with others…including your spouse
  • Thinking through problems

When Things Go Wrong

  • Unexpected problems pop up
  • Plans fall through
  • Unmet expectations from others

This is only a handful of times and situations when we as Mom’s can lose our cool.  As you can see, a lot of times we yell, not because of our kids behaviors, but because of all the other stuff going on in our life.

It’s ok though.  Once we are able to pinpoint the times and situations that we are likely to get our anger triggered, we can work around them.  Being aware of them is sometimes all it takes to center ourselves and handle the problem without yelling.

So take a look a the list.  Are any of these triggers for you?  Do you have triggers that aren’t listed here?

If you’re interested in joining the group, just click this link and join!  Stop Yelling Group

For more on triggers, checkout these posts.
Is This Why You are Yelling At Your Kids? – Creative With Kids
Anger Triggers and How They Affect Your Family – Abundant Mama

 

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Comments

  1. This is a great post! Thanks for being real on your blog!
    This is such a great reminder for all of us.
    Alida TheRealisticMama recently posted…Let’s Confess…Want to know my secrets?My Profile

  2. Mom of 6 Boys says:

    I really identify with many of these! For me its usually a combination of several that tip me over the edge. I am glad to know I am not the only mom who loses it to sensory overload. Sounds can really get to me, especially when I am trying to concentrate on something and I feel overwhelmed. It also seems to be true that while one of two of these triggers is manageable, several combined is what tips me over the edge into mommy meltdown mode. No shower, tired, messy kitchen, noisy kids, and suddenly that bottle of bubbles that just got dumped on the carpet is a HUGE trigger – when really its many things combined together. I think the key is chipping away at the factors within our control, so we aren’t so raw and open to the triggers outside our control (like a child’s fluctuating ability to listen or follow directions!)

    • Amanda says:

      Oh man, I love what you said. Yes, it’s almost always a combination of things that put me in a mood..then the kids do something small and I lose it! And YES! it’s up to us to resolve the triggers around us so we can handle the things outside our control. Brilliant!

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